Home | About Us | Submission Guidelines | Of Interest to Writers | Contact Us
Summer 06



Inside A Fortune Cookie Was a Startling Surprise
Ian Elwood

     Inside a Fortune Cookie Was A Startling Surprise?!
     The future can not remain the same as the past, the only constant is change.
     This year went especially slow for you, which is a nice respite from the past five years (which in the grand scale of your life were among the best and the worst so far), they had been going faster and faster, seemingly accelerating at an exponential rate.
     You are glad to notice that this progression was not a constant acceleration towards your final demise, but a valley in the pleasant ebb and flow of your life time perception pattern.
     If this trend continues (which it likely will) you should be seeing an extension of your time perception about ten fold in the next seven years, which means that you will have more than made up for your previous acceleration in life time perception, and earned credit towards perceiving your good years at a very slow and leisurely rate, fully enjoying all of the benefits of being twenty five (and on) in San Francisco.
     All political idiocracy aside, the next ten years of your life will be fruitful and rewarding, your hard work should show a vigorous return as you walk the benevolent and philanthropic stroll to your painless death at the ripe old age of One Hundred and One (perceived to be One Hundred and Eight at the current life time perception rate).

Lucky Numbers: 17, 42, 38, 69, 21

Ian Elwood is a graduate student in Media Studies at New College California and a freelance writer with a strong interest in exposing corruption through reviving the lost art of investigative journalism.