I Know a Guy Who Knows a Guy
Who knows a guy who can take care of problems.
What kind of problems?
What kind do you have?
Boss problems. Wife problems. Neighbor problems.
Which one first?
It doesn’t matter. They’re all connected. Take care of one you take care of all. My neighbor boss is humping my wife.
Monday they took the coat rack and love seat from my office. Tuesday it was my lamp and bookcase. Wednesday my L desk was replaced with a metal one and my swivel chair with a piano stool. I spun while they took my walls and my office became a cubicle.
The Blame Game
Every morning when I leave my house for work I have to run to my car parked on the street as my neighbors shoot rock salt at me with shotguns. Why me and not their wives who took turns bringing warm casseroles and hot bodies when my wife left me?
Paul Beckman used to be a Realtor, Air Traffic Controller, Saloon Keeper, Pin Setter, Numbers Runner & many other things. These days he's a Zeyde who writes, travels and takes pictures both above and beneath the water. Some publishing credits: Metazen, Connotation Press, Existere, Boston Literary Magazine, Molotov Cocktail, Pure Slush, The Brooklyner, 5 Trope, Blink-Ink, Litro, Soundzine, Opium, Playboy, The Connecticut Review, Ascent Aspirations and other fine publications on line, in print & via audio. He can be reached at email@example.com & visited at his published story website paulbeckmanstories.com.